“Destination” Moneytown
“America, apparently, wants and needs to see flaming severed heads flying at them; what else could explain the box-office triumph of “The Final Destination” this weekend? Earning an estimated $28.3 million, the more-of-the-same-sequel (which runs a paltry 84 minutes and yet, somehow, still feels like an eternity) brought in audiences with the promise of gore and fake organs with height, width and depth, never mind that putting “The Final Destination” in 3D ironically just makes it feel all the more shallow. Also, really, does anyone bet that this is in fact the final “Final Destination” film? I know that calling the film “Antepenultimate Destination” wouldn’t help at the box office, but considering I can see New Line milking this cash cow (if cash cows gave off blood, that is) for at least two more films, it would at least be more honest.
Quentin Tarantino’s “Inglourious Basterds” came in second, with $20 million, for a total of $73 million domestic. You can be sure that somewhere, this weekend, the Weinsteins were breathing big, big sighs of relief that “Basterds” didn’t go all “Grindhouse” on them and flop hard, and is looking like more and more of a moneymaker. Third place was taken by “Halloween 2 ,” Rob Zombie’s re-imagining of John Carpenter’s 1981 sequel, making $17.4 million. I went to a Friday matinee of “Halloween 2,” and it was the weirdest crowd I’ve seen at the movies in a while — comprised solely of unaccompanied minors, creepy rockabilly dudes and creepy unaccompanied rockabilly minors, plus my judgmental self peering over my glasses at the blood and guts. All I’ll say about “Halloween 2″ is that it’s a grim, tawdry little film, made even worse by the fact that Zombie can’t light or shoot a scene to save his life — and that watching Rob Zombie explore Jungian psychological archetype with his ham-handed symbolism (Which involves scenes that, not coincidentally, star his wife Sheri Moon Zombie as Michael Meyer’s Mom — yay, nepotism!) is like watching my cat explore a paper bag. I love extreme horror, yes, but when it’s done right – and there’s more real thought and skill and terror in five minutes of the under-seen “A L’intérieur” (which may be called “Inside” at your local video store if you have a strong stomach and feel like being scared for approximately the rest of your life) than in all of the dim, grim stab-happy 101 minutes of “Halloween 2.”"
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